Linton 2ndXI vs Foxton 2ndXI
Result: Game Abandoned
‘Shit weather, Shit tea, Shit Happens’
The ‘Stiffs’ second game of the season saw them venture out to Linton, hopeful of getting a game in despite the poor weather forecast. The blind optimism of cricket in May. We were buoyed by the addition of some Foxes virgins, namely Rootsy’s mates Chris Ingram and Matt Fox (yep, we’ve now got two of them, both sexy bastards), and Hogi, who confessed that he hadn’t played since school. With that kind of cricketing experience behind him, early guesses were that he was vastly over qualified for division 4south.
Skipper Griff went out, called correctly, and put us in on what looked like a decent deck. Only problem was that opening bat Foxy was still on the A1307 as he thought it was a 2 o clock start. When the locally semi-famous frontman finally made it, he and Benny Howlett strode to the crease determined to bore the shine off the new nut. Progress was solid if unspectacular, until Benny offered a leading edge that was gratefully pouched at cover by the one member of the oppo who appeared to have both of his original hips.
Enter debutant Matt Fox, to start a new partnership with Matt Fox-Teece. No where near enough attention was lavished on this amazing coincidence of name, thinking caps on for next week please fellas. MF started nervously but soon started to manoeuvre the ball into the gaps for some quick singles, unfortunately though he just wasn’t quick enough. Run out by the wicketkeeper after calling Foxy through for one off his legs.
The skip then made his way to the crease and the scoring rate picked up. Foxy tried to cover drive everything in sight whilst Griff biffed one massive 6 to cow. Next over, Linton’s bespectacled, moustached, opener dug one in, which failed to bounce, and hit Griff on the ankle bang in front. Umpire Howlett tried his upmost to keep his finger in his nose, but had no choice. The skip was rightly sawn off.
Lee Cooper sauntered in at 5 and looked solid from the word go, depositing a vicious cross batted swot straight back over the bowlers head for 6, and Foxy, in a rare show of aggression, put one straight into the stream. Looking well set at 100-4 just after drinks, the clouds gathered. A quick 5 minute shower passed and play resumed, albeit briefly. But enough time for Foxy to sky one straight down deep square leg’s throat, departing for 40 odd. Then the real rain came. A desperately poor tea was taken early, where the skip shocked the whole team by announcing that he was partial to a custard doughnut or 7. We just didn’t see that coming. Elderly groundsman then arrived and called the game off, no one seemed too disappointed, except Tommy Williams, who was faced with divorce after scarpering from a family bbq to make the game, only to have to return with his tail between his wooden legs after having a ‘fresh air game’. Everyone reluctantly parted company with a tenner, and made their way to the Horse for an early start, all except Foxy, who had to go to a gig to entertain more people retarded enough to pay to have their ears assaulted/ugly daughters molested by him and his cronies.
Roll on Sunny Buntingford next week!
MoM: Tommy Williams